From the annals of not getting what I want…
I was ready to make a left-hand turn into the school driveway. Upon initiating the turn, however, I stopped quickly when I saw a school administrator and another person standing smack in the middle of the entrance, blocking my path. “Way to block the driveway,” I muttered. (There’s something about being behind the wheel of a car that brings forth a sense of entitlement.)
By the time the two men cleared...
I said something to my husband and immediately recognized it as sounding pompous. There was a time that I would have chewed on that for a long while. I would have turned it over in my mind, wondering why I said such a thing. Self-judgment would have set in. I would have wondered what he thought of me. A virtual rat's nest of thought would have been created in my mind, because it is not my intention to sound pompous and so why did I say that, gosh darn it?!
I have come to see, however,...
Just pondering why it is that I don’t feel compelled to do a thing that I’ve been telling myself I should do. I know that I will eventually do it. Will I later regret not having done the thing now?
So I just placed myself at mortality’s edge, and asked myself, if I was dying, if I knew I was going to die tomorrow, what would I be thinking? Would I be happy and croak with no regrets?
And a thought came forward: I wouldn’t wish that I had done that thing, I would...
The question, “What do you know?” came to me as I was preparing to meet with a client. I assumed the question popped in for me to pass on to my client. I saw myself asking her, What do you know?
Next thing I knew, I was answering the question myself.
I know that I am here in this body.
I know that I am cared for and looked after.
I know that there is more to existence and being-ness than what appears to the physical eye.
I know that I came from a...
On our last night of vacation on Maui, Josephine and I enjoyed dinner via room service. The lit sky caught my eye through the window as we finished, and I received an impulse to leave the room immediately and walk outside. It was a compelling impulse: it was clear and had movement to it, as if a part of me had already made the decision to go outside and my body and brain were playing catch-up.
I put on my shoes quickly and uttered a rushed goodbye to my daughter. The momentum was...
Space to allow the unfolding.
Space to feel feelings.
Space to come to a decision on one’s own accord, in a space of neutrality.
Nurturing, open, inviting.
Limitless potential. The offering of space.
Sometimes, I squash the space. Fill it with thoughts. Then, the thoughts influence, call forth, or magnetize, a response from the person with whom I am conversing, or from the situation I am experiencing.
For example, when my daughter was applying to high...
I loved watching Game of Thrones. When the series ended, I felt sad. What affected me wasn’t as much that the show had ended as it was thoughts about a particular character’s fate. I got teary-eyed thinking about it!
Even when I reminded myself that the story and characters were not real, the emotion was still present. That’s what I found so interesting: my inner experience was affected by what I chose to focus on, whether the object of attention was “real”...
I asked my son to “tell me about class today,” and he immediately discerned that his teacher must have called me.
“What did she say?”
“Just tell me about class,” I responded.
“What did she say?” he repeated.
“I just want you to tell me about class.”
“Tell me what she said, first.”
“I’m asking YOU to tell me about class,” I reasserted.
And on we went, in this circular pattern, each of us...
I keep talking, despite my daughter’s plea.
“Would you stop?!” she begs.
I persist, rationalizing to myself, I’m the parent, she will benefit by listening to me.
“You’re making me feel sad. You’re making me feel like an idiot!”
Ouch. But I’m on a run, “Well, that’s your doing,” implicitly reminding her that no one can “make” us feel anything.
While the admonishment leaves my lips,...
Recently, I noticed that I no longer have a fantasy associated with winning the lottery. Often, in the past, when I saw a billboard displaying the jackpot, an automatic assessment would run: is this the one? is it time to buy a ticket? And, once every year or so, I would buy a ticket, complete with accompanying fantasy about how this money would change our (my family’s) lives.
I no longer have that fantasy. Seemingly out of nowhere, the fantasy dissolved. I saw a sign advertising the...
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