I realized that I was using my son.
I was using him to feel good about myself.
As he became a teenager, a feeling crept in. I ignored it until I could no longer. What was this feeling?
In a word, grief. I was grieving the loss of my little boy. Where did he go, that bundle of sunshine that lit me up with a level of loving energy so huge that it could hardly be contained in his little body?
Over the years, when I returned home after being out of town, my son would often greet me with an...
The question, “What do you know?” came to me as I was preparing to meet with a client. I assumed the question popped in for me to pass on to my client. I saw myself asking her, What do you know?
Next thing I knew, I was answering the question myself.
I know that I am here in this body.
I know that I am cared for and looked after.
I know that there is more to existence and being-ness than what appears to the physical eye.
I know that I came from a...
On our last night of vacation on Maui, Josephine and I enjoyed dinner via room service. The lit sky caught my eye through the window as we finished, and I received an impulse to leave the room immediately and walk outside. It was a compelling impulse: it was clear and had movement to it, as if a part of me had already made the decision to go outside and my body and brain were playing catch-up.
I put on my shoes quickly and uttered a rushed goodbye to my daughter. The momentum was...
I asked my son to “tell me about class today,” and he immediately discerned that his teacher must have called me.
“What did she say?”
“Just tell me about class,” I responded.
“What did she say?” he repeated.
“I just want you to tell me about class.”
“Tell me what she said, first.”
“I’m asking YOU to tell me about class,” I reasserted.
And on we went, in this circular pattern, each of us...
A few weeks ago, The Nest was flooded from above. Despite the obvious ceiling and floor damage, and a few other ruined items, I found it somewhat amusing: “The Nest has been baptized!,” I laughed.
As events unfolded, it became less of a charming affair, and more of a pain in the a*s. The extent of repairs required was far greater than I initially anticipated. That’s ok, still nothing to get worked up about. I phoned one contractor after another and everything was...
Mark wanted to stop at Peet’s on the way to The Nest. I didn’t think we had time to stop for coffee—even if we were getting it to-go. We were scheduled to meet a contractor at The Nest at 8:30 sharp. The contractor had actually used the word sharp!
Notwithstanding my desire to arrive on time, I could sense on an energetic level that Mark’s pull to the coffee shop was dominant, somehow more in alignment with Flow, than my desire to go straight to The Nest. I...
In this moment, I see so clearly the basis of real creation…
For example, my belly feels big, it is bumping up against my pants, and I judge it. Focusing on the belly, in this case through thoughts of judgment, brings me more belly (which is not what I want!), because creation comes from our attention.
Focusing on the FEELING I want brings conditions and experiences that are on the frequency of that feeling.
Because that is how creation works: imagine it, and it is there.
There is no...
Played the best game of putt-putt golf I have ever played, a few weeks ago.
In the past, I would look at the ball, look at the hole, look at the ball again, look at the hole again, and think something along the lines of, “come on, this isn’t that hard, I should be able to do this, let go, come on, I can do this, don’t think too much, see the ball go into the hole, everyone is watching me, I can do this, can I?, yes, I can do this, I really want to get it in...,” etc....
Starting to understand what "choice" means... in a divine context in which our soul is running the show, our earthbound choice is whether to go with the flow or against it. That is the only real choice we face.
To be an astronaut or a ballerina, to marry someone, what to have for dinner... these are choices on one level, but they are downstream from where the real choice is happening, from where reality is being created.
The choice we are always making--whether consciously or by...
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