Have you heard the adage, “when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me”? While I generally find this to be sage guidance, the fact is that assumptions underlie virtually every perspective we hold and every action we take. For example, I assume that my car is going to start each time I turn the ignition key. I assume that the electricity is going to run throughout the night and keep the food in the refrigerator cold. I assume that the chair...
In 2018, I was involved in a car accident. In my peripheral vision, I saw a car speeding toward me as I drove through an intersection. I let go of attachment to what may come next, viscerally feeling in my body the choice to accept whatever the outcome. I felt calm and at peace. The other car smashed into mine, totaling it. I could have physically died in that moment and I was fine with that as a potential outcome. Regardless of the unfolding, I knew all is well; the outcome was not mine to...
When our county issued a mandate requiring residents to do something with which I did not agree, I was triggered. A rebellious voice inside retorted, "Don't tell me what to do!"
Right away, I could see that the voice was coming from a place inside that felt unheard and unacknowledged. What about me? it asked. Don't I get a say in this?
As I sat longer with the feelings, it became clear that I was playing victim. "Don't tell me what to do," sounds like something I would say to my sister when...
I said something to my husband and immediately recognized it as sounding pompous. There was a time that I would have chewed on that for a long while. I would have turned it over in my mind, wondering why I said such a thing. Self-judgment would have set in. I would have wondered what he thought of me. A virtual rat's nest of thought would have been created in my mind, because it is not my intention to sound pompous and so why did I say that, gosh darn it?!
I have come to see, however,...
Just pondering why it is that I don’t feel compelled to do a thing that I’ve been telling myself I should do. I know that I will eventually do it. Will I later regret not having done the thing now?
So I just placed myself at mortality’s edge, and asked myself, if I was dying, if I knew I was going to die tomorrow, what would I be thinking? Would I be happy and croak with no regrets?
And a thought came forward: I wouldn’t wish that I had done that thing, I would...
Space to allow the unfolding.
Space to feel feelings.
Space to come to a decision on one’s own accord, in a space of neutrality.
Nurturing, open, inviting.
Limitless potential. The offering of space.
Sometimes, I squash the space. Fill it with thoughts. Then, the thoughts influence, call forth, or magnetize, a response from the person with whom I am conversing, or from the situation I am experiencing.
For example, when my daughter was applying to high...
I loved watching Game of Thrones. When the series ended, I felt sad. What affected me wasn’t as much that the show had ended as it was thoughts about a particular character’s fate. I got teary-eyed thinking about it!
Even when I reminded myself that the story and characters were not real, the emotion was still present. That’s what I found so interesting: my inner experience was affected by what I chose to focus on, whether the object of attention was “real”...
I asked my son to “tell me about class today,” and he immediately discerned that his teacher must have called me.
“What did she say?”
“Just tell me about class,” I responded.
“What did she say?” he repeated.
“I just want you to tell me about class.”
“Tell me what she said, first.”
“I’m asking YOU to tell me about class,” I reasserted.
And on we went, in this circular pattern, each of us...
Mark wanted to stop at Peet’s on the way to The Nest. I didn’t think we had time to stop for coffee—even if we were getting it to-go. We were scheduled to meet a contractor at The Nest at 8:30 sharp. The contractor had actually used the word sharp!
Notwithstanding my desire to arrive on time, I could sense on an energetic level that Mark’s pull to the coffee shop was dominant, somehow more in alignment with Flow, than my desire to go straight to The Nest. I...
While I was skiing this week, I experienced a hint of thought pattern transformation, from judgment to enjoyment.
As I tentatively made my way down a hill, hearing the oh-so-familiar thought pattern running through my mind, “I’m not a good skier. I wonder what my family and others are thinking about me as they watch me. I hope they’re not watching. I’ll never be a good skier. It’s not my thing...”, a new thought popped in: maybe I am holding myself back...
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